


only miss the sun when it starts to snow

by beepbeepbop



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, excessive use of brackets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:12:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3092777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beepbeepbop/pseuds/beepbeepbop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey! What about Haru-chan?" Nagisa gasps suddenly.</p><p>"What about me?" Haru turns his head to Nagisa.</p><p>"You’re leaving Haru-chan behind?"</p><p>He’s not leaving me behind, Haru wants to say. He feels his face scrunch up in a small frown.</p><p>"I’m not leaving Haru behind!" The clear indignance in Makoto’s tone at such a statement somewhat appeases Haru.</p><p>or</p><p>in which Makoto leaves for a week.</p><p>(Haru doesn't want a life without him.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	only miss the sun when it starts to snow

**Author's Note:**

> hey! My first Makoharu fic, hope you guys like it:) Any feedback is welcome!
> 
> title from Passenger's Let Her Go.

"Good job today, everyone! Especially Nagisa—you beat your personal best!" Gou enthuses, clapping her hands together.

"Yay!" Nagisa exclaims happily, puffing out his chest. "I’m going to celebrate with lots and lots of bentos and cream buns!"

"That’s not healthy!"

"Awww, you guys are so boring." Nagisa pouts.

Makoto smiles at his teammates, rubbing his hair dry with a towel.

Haru feels relaxed, as always after a good swim.

Then Makoto stills, as if remembering something.

"Ah! Kou-san, I’m going to miss a few swim sessions!" Makoto says, turning his attention to their manager.

Oh. That.

Haru fixes his attention on the sparkling clear waters of the pool.

"What? Why?!" Gou, Rei and Nagisa asks at the same time.

The big reaction seems to catch Makoto by surprise as he flinches a little.

"I have to go to Morioka for a while. My aunt is going away on a business trip and needs someone to watch over her kids…"

Makoto scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Oh." Kou says understandingly. "That’s okay. Take care of yourself. You’ve worked really hard as a captain these years. You deserve a break!"

Makoto makes a startled sound. “Thank you, Kou-san.”

Haru knows that Makoto is smiling that little smile of his, the one that would make her flush.

(Haru looks away.)

~

"I can’t believe you, Mako-chan! How could you not tell us beforehand?" Nagisa sounds utterly betrayed as they walked home. "Haru-chan knew about this much earlier, didn’t he?"

Haru doesn’t respond, just continues licking his popsicle, but he thinks of when Makoto asked for his opinion about it, about a month ago.

( “Do you think I should go, Haru?” Makoto asks, eyes wide and earnest.

Haru ignores the way his brain says _no_ immediately, and instead asks,” Do you have a choice?”

Makoto casts his eyes downwards. “Mom and Dad are giving me a choice, but I know my aunt wouldn’t feel at ease if her children are left to some stranger for a week.”

"Then go." Haru says simply.

He ignores the unpleasant feeling settling at the pit of his stomach. It was probably stomach flu.)

Haru returns from his flashback to hear Makoto assuring Nagisa and Rei,” I’m sorry, I didn’t think it was a big deal. But don’t worry, I’m sure there are swimming pools there for me to continue training on my own!”

Idiot, Haru thinks. They’re not concerned about that.

"It’s not that, Mako-chan! We’re going to miss you so much!" Nagisa turns his beseeching eyes to Makoto.

Haru sees Makoto blinking, and how pink tints his cheeks.

"Don’t be silly, Nagisa. Its only a week."

"Its seven whole days," Nagisa says.

"Yes, like Nagisa-kun, I believe that I would not be accustomed to seven days—168 hours—of not seeing Makoto senpai, when we usually interact for at least 10 hours a week." Rei speaks up, pushing his red glasses up his nose.

"Ah." Makoto smiles, the surprised flush still dusting his cheeks. "In that case, I guess one week would be rather long. I’m going to miss you all too."

Haru senses Makoto’s gaze, and quickly turns his head to the shops lining the streets.

"Hey! What about Haru-chan?" Nagisa gasps suddenly.

"What about me?" Haru turns his head to Nagisa.

"You’re leaving Haru-chan behind?"

He’s not leaving me behind, Haru wants to say. He feels his face scrunch up in a small frown.

"I’m not leaving Haru behind!" The clear indignance in Makoto’s tone at such a statement somewhat appeases Haru.

"I mean…I can’t imagine Haru-chan without Mako-chan! You two always come in a set package!"

Nagisa’s statement makes Haru’s tongue still from licking the popsicle. Beside him, Makoto pauses as well.

The seemingly careless and innocuous question forces them to confront something that went unsaid, something everyone just accepted—their co-dependency.

"Like, I would’ve thought Mako-chan might, I don’t know, bring Haru-chan along with him or something—Ow! What was that for, Rei-chan?" Nagisa yelps as Rei elbows him.

Haru’s glad that Rei is able to read his annoyance. Why is Nagisa pushing this so hard?

"I think Haru’s going to be just fine," Makoto finally stimulates a response for the both of them. "If anything, he’ll get a break away from me, yeah?"

Haru knows that Makoto meant for the untrue statement to be a joke, but it comes out a little… insecure. Makoto isn’t looking at him, either.

"Makoto-senpai! That is far from the truth." Rei admonishes. "With your level of empathy, kindness and thoughtful nature that well exceeds an average human’s, nobody would want to be devoid of your presence…Much less Haruka-senpai." Haru hears Rei mumble the last part under his breath.

Makoto’s eyes are huge by the time Rei finishes.

Haru wants to huff. Knowing Makoto, that would probably be news to him. But it’s good that at least someone tells him that. Haru would never be able to say such mushy things, even if they were true.

"I… Uh…Ah! Its getting late, we better walk faster!" Makoto changes the topic. He always gets so flustered, unable to handle compliments, which were usually the mere truth.

Yet he gives them out so freely. Idiot.

~

Haru finds the ticking of the wall clock incessantly loud at 8 am.

He throws off the covers and shuffles out of his t-shirt and boxers into the jammers with the blue stripes that he had washed and left to dry two days ago. It was his oldest jammers, five years old, and it didn’t fit well on him anymore. The stretched nylon was thin and clingy, the worn out elastic at the waist hanging loosely and uncomfortably off his hips. All his other jammers were unclean or still drying.

As Haru fills up the bathtub that he’d cleaned yesterday, he makes a mental note to get new swimming trunks with Makoto in the afternoon or after school on Monday.

It’s only after the bathtub is completely filled and Haru prepares to step in that he remembers—

Makoto is leaving _today_.

Haru pauses, toes stilling just above the surface of the tantalising waters.

He shakes out of it, dipping into the bath, hoping that the familiar, cool feeling of being in the water would soothe the uncomfortable, unpleasant feeling churning at the bottom of his stomach.

(It doesn’t.)

~

"Haru-chan!" The twins choruses in surprise as they pull open the Tachibana house door.

Haru blinks, and lets his hand fall from its awkward attempt to knock back to his side.

"We were just going outside to play!" Ran explains.

"Do you want to come with us?" Ren jumps in excitedly, pulling at Haru’s hand.

Haru shakes his head, and the way the twin’s faces fall makes him realise that they genuinely wanted Haru to join them.

He briefly thinks about changing his mind, just to obliterate Ren and Ran’s disappointed expressions, but no. He refuses to be sidetracked—he was here to do something.

"Next time?" Haru asks, and the way Ren and Ran lights up makes the tentative offer worth it.

"Promise?" Suspicion soon settles in Ran’s expression, after the initial happiness.

She probably has a reason to be skeptical, Haru thinks, feeling his lips tug up in a reluctant smile.

"Promise." Haru locks his pinky with the dark haired girl.

"Promise me too, Haru-chan!" Ren pushes his sister, offering his little finger to Haru, who reaches out to do the same with Ren.

"Onii-chan!" Ran exclaims and Haru turns towards Makoto’s room, where Makoto stands, hair messy as he holds a pile of clothes in one hand. How long has he been standing there?

He’s watching them, a soft and contented smile playing at his lips.

(I just wanted to see you, Haru doesn’t say.)

"Makoto." He says instead.

The way Makoto’s smile widens tells Haru that he understands. He always understands.

"Onii-chan! Stop distracting Haru-chan!" Ren tugs on Haru’s hand, pulling Haru’s attention back to him."Promise me too!"

"I promise." Haru hooks his finger with Ren’s.

Satisfied, Ren lets go of Haru’s finger.

"Bye Onii-chan! Bye Haru-chan!" The twins yell, running out of the house.

When Haru looks back at his best friend, he feels his breath hitch. Makoto’s green eyes are soft and crinkly and a strange warm feeling settles in Haru’s chest.

(As usual, he doesn’t know why Makoto’s smiling at him like that.)

"Haru? Thank goodness you’re here—could you help Makoto? His train is leaving in an hour, yet his clothes are still in a mess!" Makoto’s mother appears at the kitchen door, wiping her hands on her apron.

Haru looks at the pile of clothes in Makoto’s hand.

Makoto’s smile turns sheepish.

~

"Thanks, Haru-chan." The duffel bag was now filled with neat, folded clothes and zipped.

"Drop the -chan."

~

"Don’t go, Onii-chan!"

"Hey, it’s only for a week! Much shorter than a month, or a year, right?" Makoto tries to pry the twins’ grip on his legs gently.

"I guess…" Ran relaxes her hold, seeming subdued by Makoto’s reasoning.

"But…" Ren’s lip wobbles.

"You understood that Onii-chan has to take care of Tomio-chan and Asa-chan, remember?"Makoto’s mother says.

Makoto bends down, setting his hand on the Ren’s shoulder and looks him in the eye. “I’ll be back really soon, okay? And I thought you said you were a big brave boy?” Makoto’s smile turns teasing.

"I am!" Indigance triumphs the distress on the dark haired boy’s face.

"Okay, then. Bye Onii-chan. We will miss you so, so much!" With that, he flings himself at Makoto, who holds him easily.

"I want a hug too!" Ran follows soon after, jumping at Makoto.

(Makoto’s really good with the twins, Haru thinks, but that isn’t anything new.)

"Bye, mom." Makoto’s voice cuts through Haru’s thoughts and oh.

He’s really leaving. Now.

"Passengers travelling to Morioka, please board the train now." The loudspeaker announces.

"Bye, Haru." Makoto’s gaze turns to him and Haru feels oddly scrutinised. He quickly sets his face to his usual, blank expression, in case he had been displaying any weird emotions on his face.

(Makoto can read him like a book.)

Haru raises his hand awkwardly in a wave, and—

it feels weird, because he has always been waving along with Makoto, not to Makoto.

Haru quickly stops that train of thought as Makoto smiles at him, and walks onto the train.

The train leaves.

And there’s that.

~

Haru goes to school on Monday, as usual.

(He arrives to class late.)

((When his fingers close around nothing but air, Haru realises that nobody came to greet him good morning or pull him out of the tub.))

He stares out of the window, at the blue sky and loses himself in his thoughts.

(Nobody whispers at Haru to pay attention.)

((He has to borrow a pen for a quiz from the girl in front of him.))

~

Haru goes to buy new swimming jammers after school on Tuesday.

(He strips on the way home, jumping into the nearby fountain, ignoring shocked stares and whispers.)

((Makoto isn’t here to stop him anyway.))

 

~

Wednesday is the day that Haru finally accepts the Tachibana’s dinner invite. Haru makes sure to thank the Tachibanas for the good food, especially the grilled mackerel.

"Are you happy, Haru-chan?" Ran asks after the dinner, leaning forward with wide, expectant eyes at Haru.

"Yeah." Haru thinks that this is a weird question, but he answers truthfully.

"Yay! We succeeded!"

"In what?" Haru doesn’t understand.

"Oh, Onii-chan gave us a secret mission to make you as happy as possible!" Ren says happily, until—"Ow!"

Ran slaps him in the head.

"Don’t tell Haru-chan! It’s a secret mission, idiot!”

"Don’t call me an idiot!"

(Haru doesn’t know what to do with the sudden confession.)

((He ignores the warm, tingly sensation that spreads to his toes.))

 

~

Swim meets are on Thursdays.

(Haru pushes himself out of the water when the session ends.)

Afterwards, Haru walks behind Rei and Nagisa, who are bickering animatedly. They stop at the convenience store. Haru goes in to buy a popsicle. He randomly picks one.

(He doesn’t know which popsicle Makoto buys for them.)

((It tastes disgusting— Haru throws the whole thing away.))

~

It rains after school on Friday.

Haru reaches home drenched.

He doesn’t mind—it’s just water.

(He shivers.)

((Makoto isn’t here to shelter him with his umbrella, to make sure he doesn’t “catch a cold or hypothermia and you should really take care of yourself, Haru-chan!”.))

~

Haru spends his whole Saturday sitting in his bathtub.

His skin is wrinkly like a prune.

(He has nothing to do, anyway.)

((No one comes to pull him out.))

~

Makoto’s text comes in on a Sunday. 

Are you eating well, Haru? Are you sleeping well? My train’s been delayed, my return trip reaches on Monday. Remember to take care of yourself and don’t just eat mackerel:) 

I like mackerel. 

The reply comes back less than a minute later. Of course you do, Haru-chan. 

(Haru can imagine the teasing lilt to Makoto’s voice.)

((That day, Haru eats tuna.))

~

Monday comes and Haru sits at the train station. When the fourth train reaches the station at noon, he finally spots the familiar brown hair emerging from the crowd.

And Haru finds himself running, running towards the figure that he’d so long associated with home that he only realises it now.

"Haru?"

Haru find his eyes drinking in his best friend’s features hungrily, little details becoming sharper to him, like looking though a camera lens finally focusing. The curve of Makoto’s jaw, the sweeping long lashes, wide eyes the colour of the lush leaves in the summer, long fingers curled around the dark blue duffel bag.

"Shouldn’t you be having lessons? Did you skip school? Haru—”

Haru steps forward, and winds his arms around Makoto.

Makoto is so warm.

He feels Makoto freeze for a second, a small noise of surprise escaping his lips, and heartbeat quickening to match Haru’s own.

"Makoto."

The name leaves Haru’s lips on its own accord as he curls his fingers, pressing closer to Makoto.

Strong arms come around Haru as he hears the thud sound of the duffel bag hitting the floor.

"Haru-chan."Makoto sounds fond and happy, hair tickling Haru’s cheek.

"Drop the -chan." Haru says it partly just to hear Makoto’s soft, huffy laugh.

(If Haru clings on to Makoto much longer than strictly necessary, well, Makoto doesn’t seem to mind.)

((The world seems to tilt back into its original position, and everything feels right again.))

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me about Makoharu at [tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sharingpopsicles)
> 
> Edit: Omg, check out this super amazing [fanart](http://instagram.com/p/zEh5AVFMJl/)


End file.
